- Scar Tissue -
Proof that something tore us apart and our badass selves survived to tell the tale.
Some of us carry much more than others and it’s nothing to be ashamed of or hide. As difficult as it can be, thoughtfully putting effort into addressing those wounds with the right medicine and stretching ourselves outside our comfort zones when the time is right--is the path forward.
We’ve all seen loved ones or been someone left with severe injuries after surviving a catastrophic accident. Survivors are faced with an uphill battle just to get some semblance of a livable life back. Some of us beat the odds by mustering the inner strength to take slow deliberate effort (usually with the help of an incredible support team and high-quality therapy) and now, are in a much better place than we would be had we not done the work. No, we likely won’t have the life we had before the accident, but that effort is not wasted. Partial use of a limb is better than none at all. And with more practice, more progress. This is true no matter our circumstances.
Painful experiences create wounds, even if they’re invisible to the naked eye. While they’re happening, we’re bleeding out—we’re being drained and our bodies and spirits are fighting with everything they’ve got. Thankfully, social support creates a buffer that lessens the blow. And the higher the quality of support we have, the faster we can staunch the bleeding and start the process of healing. But not all of us had that and that in itself adds to the wounds. Whatever the case may be, when we finally get to a place of some safety and can begin the process of repair—those wounds are tender and can easily be ripped open again. The deeper and larger the gashes, the more scar tissue develops.
I don’t know a single credible therapist that claims that with enough therapy one can completely obliterate all the effects of trauma. With that being said, appropriate interventions and self-care practices can absolutely lessen the effects and allow for an improved quality of life. What that looks like will be as unique as the person doing the healing. Each life has a version of optimality that’s dependent on biology combined with past and present environments. So the best possible outcome of our life likely won’t look like the life of a person who suffered in different ways than we have.
It’s totally understandable that we want to avoid trying to open those old wounds. It’s painful. It can be scary. It makes us vulnerable to more injury. Many of us at some point come to believe that because we’ll never be completely healed and wound-free, there isn’t a point in trying to heal. This perspective resigns us to being immobilized by the scars from our past. We can try to ignore them and just move forward with the parts of us that do work, but it’s likely that the consequences of this choice will affect the quality of the relationships we have with ourselves and our loved ones.
No matter our current circumstances—I truly believe our badass selves are capable and worthy of leading lives that are hopeful, easygoing, contented, and joyful.
As always, I am sending out my love to you and yours and wishing you Wellness!
If you’re looking for someone to process with and address your old wounds, I am here to be of service and happy to recommend other therapists, if my services are not the right fit. In my holistic mind-body-spirit approach for adults and children, I offer reflective listening and teach practices that allow my clients to discover how past experiences and family history may be affecting their daily lives. We also work on confronting and resolving present struggles and developing healthy routines that improve physical and mental wellbeings.