Life is heavy enough without the added baggage of feeling like a disappointment to our loved ones. Families create fantasies of who they think their children are and who they’ll grow up to be. If that child doesn’t fit that mold, it can feel jarring to have those dreams shattered. But it’s not our responsibility to fulfill the dreams of our families unless we share them with them. Some families embrace surprise better than others. While other families reject, deny, shame, and outright attack their children. That response is the shame, not the child.
There isn’t just one way to human. Imagine what our world would be like if people weren’t forced to choose a box to fit in and shamed for stepping out. Imagine if shame and the threat of physical and emotional abuse didn’t have to be factored in when expressing oneself and leading a life of fulfillment. That freedom and peace would surely lead to a more vibrant world with more self-love and less self-destructive behaviors and in turn less global destruction.
We, humans, tend to feel threatened by the unknown and the misunderstood. But when we take the time to step back and observe, we learn that much of our fears are unfounded. This goes with gender expression and sexuality.
Gender and sexual fluidity are not new; it’s just not as taboo as it once was. We now have real-time media that allow us to see reality before it gets erased. We have a skewed sense of reality because historical records are culled by prevailing powers. Much of our history that didn’t fit the narrative of white, heteronormative males being the dominant force has been wiped from our books. That doesn’t mean people of all spectrums didn’t and don’t exist. The truth is: gender isn’t defined by our organs. And most people are attracted to energies, not necessarily someone else’s body parts. And not all people thrive in monogamy. That doesn’t make anyone wrong or right. It just means we humans just come in varieties and that makes us a hardier, more resilient species.
I pray that we all work to create a world where all humans feel safe to peacefully express themselves. In the meantime, I want to be clear in saying that with me, you are in a safe space to— wear what you want, love how you want, speak the words that are weighing on your heart, move the way your spirit guides you, and to let your inner-child be free to play and be nurtured.
Please know that YOU ARE LOVED and perfect just the way you are.